07/25/2005: "The Terror in the Park"

I have just now barely escaped a horror the likes of which has shredded the minds of stronger ones than I into delicious strips of sanity jerky. The name of this monstrosity? Ballet in the Park. Now, I like to think that I'm a relatively sophisticated and cultured chap but ballet... ballet to me is mind-numbingly dull at best and when it involves a "hoedown" routine the likes of which makes Oklahoma look like Shakespeare... ok well, like Marlowe anyway... Johnson at least... would you believe Congreves? but anyway when that happens, the only response I can summon is to jump onto my skateboard and ride screaming off into the night as quickly as possible. Luckily I preserved the strength of will not to look back. Horrible things always happen to people who look back in those types of situations.

It's just a lucky that I was only there for the pre-ballet picnic with Lynnea and her mom and friends and wasn't actually planning on staying for the ballet itself. I was originally planning on being social by at least hanging out and reading, but I changed my mind at the last minute since I figured I could get more reading done at home. Really just the whole shared embarassment aspect of ballet dancers in cowboy attire dancing around to "Pop Goes the Weasel" and the like was just too much. I was just sitting there screaming internally "Get some dignity already!" Now as always, I'm being hyperbolic, but wow, that could not be less my scene. Heck, after that I don't even mind posting on the sidebar that I'm starting the 3rd Harry Potter book. I mean, reading trendy children's novels might be a bit of a vice, but it's nothing compared to dressing up like a cowboy and prancing around like an idiot in front of hundreds of people.