02/29/2004: "Friends"Listening to: Elliot Smith - either or
Current mood: apathetic
Well, again I'm posting just for the purpose of posting. I know there are a few people who actually read this thing, mainly just because they're my friends. So I can't just go weeks without posting or I feel bad. I mean, what's more fun than reading the depressed complaints of a friend? Ok, well probably just about anything but like I said, they're my friends so I guess it must entertain them or something.
Speaking of depressed, I started to actually do a post last night, but the first sentece was something to the effect of everything is meaningless and there's no point to life whatsoever. I was not the happiest last night, you see. It's been one of those weekends that seems to exist solely to disappoint. See, I was planning on hanging out with my friend Matt on Friday night, but he ended up getting the stomach flu (hope you're feeling better by the way), which was no big deal, I don't usually go out on Friday nights anyway. So instead I stayed home and got in a lovely fight over the phone with my girlfriend. (Though she may not call it a fight, she has different definitions for those sorts of things than I). We bascially resolved everything (um, I think we did at least...) but it just left me in a horrible mood. Sterling beginning for a weekend, no?
So I woke up depressed yesterday, but at least I had last night to look forward to. See, Pat and I were supposed to hang out with our friend Mary. We love hanging out with Mary. It was going to be all kinds of fun. But of course, it ended up that she was sick too (something to do with whiskey sours the night before, I didn't get the entire story). So yeah, I'm pretty sure she doesn't read this but I hope she's feeling better too.
So I ended up playing NWN and watching No Maps for These Territories which was enjoyable but not really the kind of evening I was in the mood for. Basically my problem is that I wasn't feeling terribly asocial this weekend, and had sort of been looking forward to going out with friends. You know, some weekends sitting at home and playing Neverwinter Nights and maybe watching a movie and some anime is right up my alley. This was not one of those weekends.
I guess part of it is I'm realizing more and more that my time here in San Diego is limited. In what like, a little over 6 months, I'm getting married (which don't get me wrong, I'm very much looking forward to). Not to mention that in probably 3-4 months I'm moving back up to Oregon, for at least a year if not permanently. I don't have a lot of friends, and about four out of maybe eight total are down here. The thought that I'm moving away and in the future may only occasionally see these people is really depressing to me. I mean, my life has its ups and downs, and my friends are basically the main portion of the ups. Don't know if they know that, but it's true. Ok well, I'm starting to push my mood from apathetic into the somber/melancholy range. I'm gonna stop writing now.
(It's interesting, sometimes you don't know you have anything on your mind till you start writing.)